Category Archives: Kwit yer bitchun

Stress, causes of

Dentist, visit to

Oh, GAWD, do I hate the dentist. The good news is that I can still say that I have never had a cavity! The bad news is that I have to go back for some type of something or other on my gums. Ack. Hate.

Money, lack of

I have determined that 2008 is the Year of the Budget. It is also the Year of Savings and the Year of Not Buying So Many Shoes. Do you see the theme? It is a very painful theme, especially that last part about the shoes.

Math, the making of me to do

Look, me and numbers? We don’t mix. I mean, we can. If we have to. But we don’t really like each other. Especially when the math involves projecting what a budget might (or might not, that’s the trick!) look like, because that IS JUST GUESSING. I mean, it’s educated guessing, but who didn’t hear that term in grade school and think, “SCORE, I GET TO GUESS. NO THINKING REQUIRED.” Except now my job kind of requires me to actually guess intelligently. And people expect me to stand up in front of rooms of people to defend my guessing. Guessing should not be this stressful.

Job, all aspects of

This was probably implied by the above, but boy howdy are things busy around this joint. In good news, did you know that if you are stuck at work really really late, you CAN actually make a meal out of 100-calorie packs from your snack drawer and the candy bowl on someones desk? (Please note that I said absolutely nothing about the nutritional value of said meal.)

Television, lack of

I don’t know about you, but I enjoy ending a stressful day by vegging out in front of the telly. So when my options are limited to Dance Wars  or Deal or No Deal, I get a little cranky. I’m sorry if those are your favorite shows, but honestly Deal or No Deal makes me want to claw my eyes out. I don’t know why. Usually I love a high cheese factor but something about it is just… over the top, even for me.

And as for Dance Wars, would you believe that I actually WATCHED that horrendous piece of crap last night? I… I don’t even know what to say. There are simply no words. By the time they had their tenth ‘technical problem’ and Drew Lachey had done probably the worst job in history of reading off the teleprompter, oh and let’s not forget the liberal use of words like ‘spirit’… well, I was ready to personally beg the writers to come back. I mean, I know they’re striking for a good reason and all, but PLEASE, WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN? Or, uh, of the… me. Think of me, and my show-less existence.

But on that note, I did just remember that American Idol is on tonight! And, oh, I know it’s bad, so very bad… but it’s like a disease. I can’t help myself. It is a sad day when Ryan Seacrest and a bunch of no-talent losers are the only thing you have to look forward to.


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Filed under Kwit yer bitchun

Not even a hint of a theme…

I’ve been a little, well, grouchy this week, which has led to not much in the way of posting. Because you know what they say, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I know, I know, that’s never stopped me before, but honestly I feel downright Scrooge-like being grouchy during the holiday season.

On one bright, shiny note, thanks for your comments on the Queen Mother story. I had a surprising amount of fun detailing the less flattering moments of my life. Also, I feel vindicated because YES. YES, it was totally his fault. (The guy on the cell phone, I mean.)  Stupid guy. Look what you made me do.

I was also glad to hear that I am not the only one who gets stressed out about this stuff. Really, if you only knew the things I get stressed out about! You’d commit me in a heartbeat. It’s ridiculous but it’s the way I am, and I am glad to know that there are others like me out there.


Would you continue to use a shampoo that was bright purple and smelled just a little too much like Pine-sol? What if it made your hair shiny and soft and bouncy? I bought this shampoo on a whim because I was buying my normal shampoo online and they were offering a huge discount on this one so I thought I’d give it a try. (Also, I needed to spend a few more dollars to get free shipping, and I would rather pay for another shampoo than for shipping. Am frugal. Except that I buy expensive hair products. Whatever.)

I guess I don’t have an issue with the way it looks or smells, and I don’t thinkthat my hair smells like Pine-sol now, so I guess I’m cool with it.


Hey! -R- has a new site!And it’s really purty, especially now that she has taken down the creepy bunny picture from the top of the page. (Sorry, -R-, but that bunny was scary.)


We got the dreaded ‘wintry mix’ on Monday, and now the ground is a solid sheet of ice. I don’t mind snow – well, not that much – but the wintry mix has got to be the worst type of precipitation possible. Also, I would like to echo Lori’s sentiment about winter: This is why people don’t believe in global warming. Because when I am freezing my ass off it sure doesn’t seem like there is any global warming going on. AND IT IS ONLY DECEMBER. Wah.


Happy weekend, friends!


Filed under Kwit yer bitchun, Life in New England

Cantankerous Old Hag

The title of this post actually comes from a dream I had last night, because apparently even my subconscious knows what I really am deep down inside. But shit, if you’d had the kind of week I’ve been having, you’d be a cantankerous old hag as well.

[Family drama (even more than usual), grandmother in the hospital, and a whole effing shitload of work work workity work. There you have it. Let’s move on.]

Things are looking up though. Tonight is the first meeting of the book club that a few of us started at work. We’re working off of this list, because we want to read the classics, but we’re starting with The Great Gatsby because, um, Ulysses? No thank you. We’ll need to work our way up to that. And of course you know what you can’t have a book club without? Margaritas. Duh.

Tomorrow will be a whirlwind of work (now with Big Important Meeting!) and then a fairly long drive to NJ, all of which will be made possible by the fact that at the end of the day, I get to see Liz. Wahoo!

Apparently, margaritas and Liz are what it takes to make me happy at an otherwise craptastic time. Know what else would make me happy? Today is some kind of Internet de-lurking day, so the theory is that you should comment on any and all blogs that you read, even if you haven’t done so in the past. I don’t usually mention these types of things, as I don’t think my blog is important enough to really warrant it, but if you wanted to make this cantankerous old hag really happy, you should leave me a comment and say Hi.

It seems that other bloggers are asking questions to facilitate the commenting, so I’ll do the same:

What’s your favorite holiday and why?



Filed under Kwit yer bitchun, Re: Blogging

Holding up my middle finger at life in general.

You know what? I’m in a really craptastic mood. I know – this is a common occurance. But for once, I think I’m highly justified in this sentiment.

First – do you want to know what really sucks? What really sucks is when you’ve been doing work WAY above your level since, I don’t know, JANUARY and yet no one will give you a raise even though they all agree you deserve one and now there is a hiring freeze but there’s also been a re-org so your co-worker got moved to a different team without anyone even asking her and now you also get to both her job and yours for the same amount of money.

You know what ELSE sucks? Going to your boyfriend’s cousin’s bridal shower and having every single person there ask you at least twice when you are getting married. Umm, possibly never after the way your son/cousin/brother reacted to my griping about the work situation. But guess what! It’s none of your goddamn business anyway! So how ’bout you bite me?

OR, you know what is really incredibly awesome? Having one of your boyfriend’s relatives lecture you about the fact that you are going to visit your best friend  in the town you grew up in but you haven’t told your family that you are going to be there. First of all, how the hell did you entrap me in THAT particular conversation? Second, what on earth gave you the idea that it was OK to lecture me about it? You can bite me, too.

This week is on notice. Something GOOD better happen – and we’re talking lottery ticket good, not just good hair day good – to make up for this bullshit.


Filed under Kwit yer bitchun

Topics for Discussion

Topic: Who dresses Cat Deeley? On Wednesday she was dressed for a toga party; last night she was playing the part of Thumbelina. (Except that she is 7 feet tall.) Discuss.

Topic: Why are 4 out of 5 of the elevators in this wing of the building broken? Why is the stairwell so damn hot? Why do the broken elevators directly coincide with the time that I need to go to many different floors of this building? Discuss.

Topic: Why did my workout on Monday leave me with some kind of pulled muscle type thing, resulting in, quite literally, a pain in my ass? (OK, so it’s really a pain in the upper part of the back of my leg, which I think is a hamstring, but whatever.) Discuss.

Topic: Is it wrong if I just get a gift card for Matt’s cousin’s bridal shower gift? Because honestly, I just cannot be bothered with your damn registry. Plus, they sell Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards at Stop and Shop and then I don’t have to worry about what if I get you some towels, but then you also registered for some washcloths and do I look cheap if I don’t get you those too? But since your damn towels already cost me fifty bucks I really don’t think  need to get you some washcloths. And do you really need new towels? JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOUR TOWELS DON’T WORK ANYMORE.  Geez. Discuss.


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I hope you weren’t expecting something interesting.

I don’t even know why I’m bothering to post, seeing as how I have nothing to say. Work is slowly sucking the life out of me. You know how the windows in the Las Vegas hotels don’t open, and everyone says it’s because the casinos don’t want people who lost all their money to just open up the window and jump out? Yeah, well, the windows in my office building don’t open either. Go figure.

It seems to get like this everyone once in a while, and although for the most part I like my job and the company I work for, it’s tough to remember that when you are drowning in the self-pity that comes with a particularly bad week. I’ve spent a good 4 hours today working on our budget and developing a tool that allows us to respond with intelligent answers when asked, “What do you plan to spend that money on?” only to realize that something is wrong, somewhere in this report, and it shows the total variance correctly in one place but is about three quarters of a million dollars off in another place.

And really, when an extra 20 found in your coat pocket is cause for celebration, do you know how disconcerting it is that they let me do stuff with millions of dollars? That’s a lot of zeroes. It is also disconcerting that I have used the words ‘report’ and ‘variance’ in this post because I AM NOT A NUMBERS PERSON. Although, I am pretty good at spending money, so maybe there is some hope for me after-all. Although, as that commercial said, “I guess buying lottery tickets isn’t a good business plan.” (Remember that one? With the monkeys? And they shine the laser pointers on the guy’s butt? Heh.)

The thing that’s keeping me going today is the promise of another episode of So You Think You Can Dance tonight. I still can’t decide who my favorites are, but I might go with Sabra and Dominic. I tend to root for the underdog and I don’t think that they are getting the credit that they deserve. And of course, the Mary Murphy brand of crazy is always entertaining.


Filed under Kwit yer bitchun

It’s funny ’cause it’s true.

While driving home on Saturday, listening to the radio. More specifically, listening to an interview on Sirius Hits 1. Which – I pay for radio so that I DON’T have to listen to you talk. And that means YOU, Spyder Harrison. P.S. – Thanks for the world’s most inconvenient link, but I had to show what a massive and complete TOOL you are. (Scroll down and click on DJ’s if you are so inclined.)

Anyway, during the (complete annoying and inane) interview (why oh why didn’t I change the channel), Spyder asked Rhianna what her most expensive shoe purchase had been. I don’t remember the answer specifically, but I do remember that Matt’s jaw dropped and I think he developed a sudden appreciation for my shoe habit. As in – It Could Be So Much Worse.

Matt: They make shoes… that cost… thousands of dollars?

Me: If they’re designer shoes, then yeah, they cost that much.

Matt: But… that’s more than our mortgage payment.

Me: I know, it’s crazy. How much was the most expensive pair of shoes you ever bought?

Matt: I think when I was younger my parents bought me some sneakers that were like a hundred bucks.

Me: Ha! I have never purchased a pair of shoes that cost that much! I think the most I’ve ever spent was like $70. I can’t believe you had more expensive shoes than me.

Matt: Ummm, yeah, but you make up for it in sheer volume.

Me: Oh. Shut up.


Filed under Kwit yer bitchun