So…. I guess I kind of disappeared for a while there, huh. And during the month when I should have been posting every day! The horror!
I don’t have an entirely excellent reason why I was gone, but assuming that you care, it had something to do with work, and a kind of hugely important thing that got screwed up, and needing to fix it. Luckily, with the application of (a lot of my) time and (a lot of the company’s) money all is well and fixed and fine.
There’s also been some family stuff happening which has been, ahem, rather unpleasant, and so I wasn’t really feeling up to 1) being humorous (Wait – I’m humorous, right? I mean, I don’t want to assume and then have you think that I think I’m funny, when really I’m not funny at all. In my real life, I don’t consider myself to be all that funny, but I think some of the stuff on here is pretty funny. I mean, spaghetti! On a wall! It’s a riot!) and 2) delving into some of my life’s less flattering moments.
So there you have it.
But! But, I did have a lovely Thanksgiving, complete with lots of pie. And my Black Friday shopping endeavors were fairly successful. Don’t worry, I’m not one of those crazies who’s out at the mall at 5am. I rolled out of bed at 6:30, and with a few clicks of the mouse, I had my items and the stores had my dollars, and I was back in bed by 7:15. Success!
Among the items purchased was a GPS, and while I’m sorry to say that this purchase will likely result in a decrease of the number of embarrassing stories I have to tell in the future, I am convinced that it will also be a life-changing purchase. Because, you see, I have no sense of direction, and getting lost really stresses me out. Matt kind of has a sense of direction, but getting lost makes him curse a lot. And I don’t know about the areas that you live in, but around here Mapquest (or Google Maps, or whatever) sucks. Boston (and its surrounding suburbs) is a city made almost entirely of 18th century cow paths that someone decided to pave into roads, and with construction and the Big Dig, this all basically translates to: YOU AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE. At least without getting lost. Enter my new beloved GPS, which Santa brought for Matt and I as an early Christmas present.
In other news, do you want to know what else I did this weekend? I organized my closet, and went through all of my clothes, and I tried on all of my old clothes, and you know what? THEY FIT.
I’ve been waiting to talk about this, and while I realize that the week following the Great Pie Consumption of 2007 might not be the best time to do it, I want to talk about weight loss, and the fact that I, personally, have lost it. Weight, that is. The thing is, I know we’re all supposed to be happy with ourselves, and focused on being healthy and not the number on the tag, and media images and unhealthy habits and blah de blah blah blah, but the fact is, I was unhappy. Really, really unhappy. And for once in my life, I up and did something about it.
Sure I whined about it for a while first, as some readers might remember, but then at the end of August I started anew. I had lost about 10 pounds by the time I went to NJ to visit with Liz in mid-October, and as of right now I am only a tiny bit shy (it’s that damn pie) of being 20 pounds lighter than I was at the end of August. Sure, there are things that I still want to work on (Hello, triceps! And you stupid, stupid thighs!) but for the most part I am really happy, and I swear when I put on those old jeans (and I could both zip them AND breathe at the same time) there was the sound of angels singing. Because while I know, I KNOW, that it’s not about the number on the tag, and stores are making their clothes bigger to make women feel better about that stupid number, I don’t care, because SIZE SIX, BITCHES.
Anyway, as good as those jeans made me feel, I honestly do feel even better about being happy with myself, and accomplishing something, even something as trivial as reduction of the size of my ass. (I should get a medal. Or maybe a plaque.)
So now that I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy and small-assed (or you know, smallER-assed), let me go ahead and promise more stories of humiliation. I guess since I missed all those days of NaBloPoMo, I will just post the very best of the remaining stories for the next few days, finishing with the Queen Mother on Friday, or maybe sometime next week, depending on how many stories I have left. (You still want to hear the Queen Mother, don’t you?) Since I kind of kicked the whole theory of NaBloPoMo out the window, I guess it doesn’t matter if I actually tell the final tale on the last day of the month.
Also, wanna know something amazing? Or, rather, someONE? The fabulous Sherry has agreed to do a guest post with her very own embarrassing moment. Sherry is fabulous for many reasons: she likes board games, reading, and ice cream, which I personally think are some very good things to like. Also, her guest post is pretty darn good, so I look forward to sharing it with you. I will be posting Sherry’s guest post on Thursday, so be sure to check back and see that I am not the only one who manages to do silly things sometimes!
That’s all for today, duckies. It’s good to be back!