The scene: I have just come home from work and am trying to find Matt so that I can ask him what he’s making me for dinner. (Although usually I try to frame the question a little bit differently so that he doesn’t realize he’s being tricked into making me dinner.) I hear some noise from downstairs so I yell down the stairs to him.
Matt: Don’t come down here!
Me: Why? What did you do? Did you break something?
Matt: Can you throw me down a towel?
Me: What did you spill? WHAT IS GOING ON?
Matt: Just throw me a towel, please, and don’t come down here.
Me: *Runs to the kitchen and grabs a rag; throws it downstairs.* Here you go!
Matt: No, I meant a real towel. Like a bath towel.
Me: Good god, what did you spill down there?
Matt: Nothing! Just throw me a towel.
Me: *Throws a bath towel downstairs and waits at the top of the stairs. About 2 seconds later Matt comes charging up the stairs with the towel around his waist, a cordless drill in one hand, and assorted other tools in the other hand.*
Me: *Giggles uncontrollably.* What the HELL?
Matt: Well, see I came home, and then I did a work out, and then I was all sweaty so I went to take a shower. And I got into the shower, and then when I went to adjust the water the thing came off in my hand!
Me: I don’t think that’s supposed to happen.
Matt: Nope, definitely not. Anyway, I thought if I could just grab a screwdriver I could fix it pretty fast, so I hopped out of the shower and grabbed the screwdriver that I knew was in the office.
Me: I’m following so far.
Matt: But then that wasn’t the right kind of screwdriver, and so I ran downstairs to get the right kind, but then that didn’t fit the thing either, so I was finding some other tools. And then you came home.
Me: And that’s when you realized that in your haste, you hadn’t grabbed a towel?
Matt: Yes! Because I thought I was just running down the hall to get the screwdriver from the office, see? But then I had to go downstairs. And then when you came home I thought if you saw me running around the house naked with a drill in my hand, well, you might think less of me.
Me: HA. How do you know that I wouldn’t find the sight of you running around naked with a drill in your hand appealing? Maybe that would turn me on?
Matt: If THAT were true, I think I might think a LOT less of you.
Me: Hmph. So did you at least fix the shower?
Matt: Not yet. I have to run to the hardware store.
Me: Don’t forget to put some clothes on first. If you run around the hardware store naked with a drill in your hand, they will not only think less of you, but they will probably arrest you.
Matt: Thanks so much for your valuable input.
Me: I think you meant to say, thanks for the towel.