The official Who’s Who of Annoyance

The following people are officially on notice:

Cube Neighbor #1: I am so sick of your name dropping and desperate attempts to make yourself sound important on the phone. Actually, every time you are on the phone I have to fight the urge to scream. Did you know that one of our co-workers actually bought earplugs and frequently wears them at her desk? She was forced to do this because not even putting on headphones and turning up her music all the way could drown out the sound of your obnoxious voice. Oh, and we all want to know how your husband puts up with you, because if the way you talk to him on the phone at work is any indication, the poor dude doesn’t have a very good home life.

Cube Neighbor #2 (of the leftover pizza-eating fame): Did you know that your accent sounds fake? I don’t think it actually is, but your accent sounds like someone non-British trying to do a British accent. Sometimes I think that’s funny but today I think it means that you should STOP TALKING.

My mother: Do you realize that you just sent me a 10 paragraph long e-mail about the cat? What, exactly, am I supposed to write in response to that? And yet, if I don’t respond, you will send me an e-mail in about a week with all sorts of guilt trips about assuming that I am dead since I did not respond to your last e-mail about the stupid cat. I suppose it could be worse – you could be CALLING me instead of e-mailing me.

The dentist’s office: I don’t know how to make it any more clear that I DO NOT owe you $107.56. I don’t owe you. I have proof of that from my insurance company. Stop sending me letters telling me that I owe you. And stop telling that it will be taken care of, when all you’re going to do is send me another damn letter. Hint: “I’ll make a note on your file” is not code for “I’ll forget all about this the moment we hang up the phone and then I’ll send another letter.” Go away.

OK – who’s on your shit list today?



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6 responses to “The official Who’s Who of Annoyance

  1. Sarah

    My parents used to send me emails on Monday mornings when I forgot to call home Sunday evening and let them know I made it back to college okay. They were always about how they hoped I wasn’t dead in a ditch somewhere.

    My reply: At least there’s internet connection in this ditch.

    Current shit list? No one has done anything spectacular today…yet. There’s still time. And some are creeping up the list.

  2. My shit list is long, but currently stars the Ford Focus owner’s manual, which I have always thought was a worthless piece of shit, but never more so than today when I am only trying to replace my blinker bulb. It was bad enough that the page numbers in the index never, ever match the actual page numbers of what you’re looking for (EVER) but now they have omitted at least three steps that I figured out my own self and I still can’t get the damn thing out and I KNOW THERE IS SOME TRICK THAT YOU ARE NOT TELLING ME, FORD.

    That is all.

  3. Liz

    The ductwork in my lab for CLICKING ALL DAY LONG. I think I’m going to rip it down from the ceiling. Then the repair guy will have to come.

  4. Are you sure our mothers aren’t related? Substitute “cat” with “problems with her computer” and you have an average message from MY mom.

  5. -R-

    The lady who tailgated me on the way to the bus stop. I was actually afraid she was going to ram my car. And I couldn’t have gone faster even if I had wanted to because there was a car in front of me. I got in the right turn lane, and she looked over at me as she passed, and I flipped her off. It felt so good.

  6. Do you work in my office? I think you might.

    I share an office with someone who uses speaker phone all freakin’ day long and yells. I constantly have my headphones on and it does no good. And she’s kind of racist which makes the things she yells into the speaker phone even more wonderful to have to listen to. And when she’s not being racist, I have to hear all about her sex life. Good times.

    Also, a girl on the floor above me has one of the fakest sounding British accents I’ve ever heard.

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