Pizza of the Birthday variety

You guys! You are awesome recipe givers! Now I am completely undecided on what to make. I am leaning a little bit toward strawberry shortcake, but… I just don’t know. THEY ALL SOUND SO GOOD. How am I ever going to choose?

I did like Sauntering Soul’s suggestion of the fruit pizza, too. It reminded you that I had never shown you pictures of the dessert pizza that I made for Matt’s birthday. Let me tell you, if you know someone who likes pizza as much as Matt likes pizza (although I don’t even know if it’s possible for another person to like pizza as much as he does), you should made this for that person.

(Warning: This recipe is not for those who do not appreciate a solid sugar buzz. But I say, what’s a little diabetic coma?)

I started off by making an overly complicated dough in my bread maker. (I got up super early to put everything in there and then set the timer so that it made the dough while I was at work.) If I make this again, I will not do this – it tasted great, but no better than it would have if I simply made sugar cookie dough the night before and stuck it in the fridge. So you should do that. OR, you could just buy yourself a big old log of sugar cookie dough from Mr. Pillsbury. I won’t tell.

Roll out your dough and put it on parchment paper on your pizza pan, if you have one. If not, you should get one because homemade pizza is really yummy, and you want to look professional when you are making homemade pizza on your circular pizza pan.

Bake until it looks done-ish. Maybe a tad on the less done side of done, because you are going to put it back into the oven later.

Then, while your dough is cooling a bit, make your icing. I made homemade cream cheese icing because I like to make things about as difficult as possible. You can buy yours in a can. You can buy it while you are buying your log of dough. I won’t tell.

Also, when you are buying your log and your can, you should also buy all of the bottles of red food coloring that you can find. I used 2 and a 1/2 and I still wished I had more. Why did I use so many, you ask? Well, because your icing is going to be your sauce. And tomato sauce is red. I suppose you could make white pizza if you wanted, but that would be cheating. And you would not get to experience the joy that is scrubbing red food coloring from your hands, clothing, and countertops.

Mix up your icing-tomato-sauce until it looks good and red. You cannot use enough food coloring, I promise. Then spread it on your pizza. Yum.

Now we have to cut grate the cheese. I used a combination of white chocolate and coconut. Coconut is easy because it is already in cheese-like flakes. The only white chocolate I could find came in bar form, so I got my grater and got working. This process was made easier by the fact that I had purchased way to many bars of white chocolate so I could eat a lot of it while I grated. And grated. And grated some more. (I used about 1 1/2 bars of white chocolate and about 3/4 cup of coconut.)

Put your cheese on your pizza. Now it looks like pizza! Go you! If you are like me, you have not taken any pictures of your masterpiece up to this point. But don’t worry, if you are like me you will remember soon.

Now it is time for toppings. Because cheese pizza is boring. Even if that is all you eat when you’re eating real pizza. I started with macadamia nuts, which were supposed to be meatballs. Macadamia nuts do not really look a whole lot like meatballs, but they will if you yell, “That’s a spicy meat-a-ball!” while you are putting them on your pizza.

Now your pizza looks like this!

Since that is clearly not enough sugar yet, next I added chopped up candy bars. I am not sure exactly what kind of topping they were supposed to be, but whatever.

Now your pizza looks like this:

Oh yeah, I added walnuts, too.

Once you are done adding your toppings, put your pizza into a low-temperature oven (maybe 200 degrees) for a little while (maybe 5-10 minutes). You want things to get just a little bit melty.

Then cut up your pizza with your fancy pizza cutter. Now you are done and it looks like this!

Then you can eat a nice big slice of it.

(That is Matt’s hand. Everyone say, Hi, Matt!)

It was a very excellent birthday dessert. And I am only about 3 months late in telling you about it. I never said I was prompt, OK.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Pizza of the Birthday variety

  1. I might have to steal this dessert pizza idea and ask someone to make it for me. Oh heck, maybe I’ll make it for myself. My 40th birthday is in less than two weeks and I think if I’m in a sugar coma I might not notice that I’m so old. 40? How did this happen?

  2. I think I went into some sort of sugar shock just reading that. Wow.

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