More Wildlife

Tom the Turkey has not made any more appearances (at least not that we’ve seen), BUT last night Ricky the Obese Raccoon came to visit. Ricky is apparently living the good life, because Ricky is so fat that he doesn’t walk, he waddles. I don’t think Ricky is the same raccoon that came and tapped on our window last year, unless he became this massive over the course of the past year. But who knows.

Also, Ricky would like you to know that he is NOT SCARED OF YOU. You can bang on the window all you want, but he is a Bad Ass Raccoon and he will stare you down. And then he will possibly go knock over your garbage can. That Ricky is a real tough guy.

Also, I would like the guy who sits in a cube in the next row to know that just because he has a speakerphone button on his phone doesn’t mean he needs to use it. It’s bad enough that I have to tune out your obnoxious, name-dropping voice; now I have to drown out the voice of the annoying people you talk to. Pick up the receiver. And stop wearing pink shirts. You think it makes you look secure in your masculinity, but it just makes us question it even more. No one thinks you’re cool.

That is all.

P.S. I really hate name droppers.

P.P.S I don’t mind it when guys wear pink, I just hate this particular person’s wardrobe choices.

P.P.S. Now the other really annoying cube neighbor is talking on the phone with her husband and get this – she just called him Schmoopy. SCHMOOPY. Now that is just priceless.



Filed under Home Sweet Home, Kwit yer bitchun, Life in New England

3 responses to “More Wildlife

  1. -R-

    H uses dorky nicknames when he talks to me on the phone at work. He has his own office though, so hopefully his office neighbors can’t hear him!

    My boss is a phone yeller. Other people who don’t know him very well have mentioned to me that he seems really scary, but he is actually perfectly pleasant. He just has a loud voice. =)

  2. I called Alan Schmoopy sometimes, but only as punishment. Once in front of his friends and he heard about it at work for days. Which of course was the whole idea.

  3. I hate when people listen to their voicemail on speakerphone. Also, I hate silly pet names. Especially at work. (I promise I’m not so filled with hate ALL the time. I’m rocking eleven hours of sleep in two days right now, and it is not really working for me.)

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