This Means War

Tonight when I got home from work I attempted to take a picture of the ugly-but-awesome-all-at-the-same-time bird feeder for your viewing pleasure. But when I stepped out into the back yard, my attention was distracted by the fat squirrel’s rear hanging out the side of said bird feeder. Yes, friends – the squirrels strike again.

I did the obvious, logical thing, and immediately threw a rock at the squirrel. (Oh, calm down. I missed.) Then I felt really guilty for throwing a rock (albeit a small one, more pebble than rock, really) at a poor, defenseless squirrel. And just as I was feel particularly guity (doesn’t HE deserve to eat just as much as the birdies?) the fat ass stuck his head out the bird feeder, turned around, and looked directly at me. I waved my arms and shouted at him, thinking that this would scare him off (or, at the very least, alert my neighbors that they should call the men in white coats, and then I would be taken away to a nice safe room where I could sit in the corner and mutter about the squirrels and their EVIL, EVIL ways) but instead, he stared at me for a few seconds before resuming the stuffing of his chubby cheeks.

So then, I thought that AT LEAST if I couldn’t foil the squirrels, I could get a good blog-fodder type picture. But WOULDN’T YOU KNOW that as soon as I zoomed in on that furry squirrel rear-view, the little shit hopped down and scampered away.

I know I could have taken a picture of just the bird feeder, as originally intentioned, but somehow it had lost its luster at that point.

I’LL GET YOU YET, MY FAT SQUIRREL FOES.

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3 Comments

Filed under Home Sweet Home

3 responses to “This Means War

  1. OK I know this is stressful for you, but it’s so darn funny for the rest of us.

    To be clear, it’s wrong of me to want the squirrel to come back (and taunt you), right?

    I do hope we get to see that bird feeder at some point….

  2. I suspect squirrels drive people to the brink of insanity on a regular basis. Careful, my dear!

  3. Dammit, just a couple of days ago I bought the squirrels in my yard a little brick of corn and seeds to gnaw on and HOW DO THEY REPAY ME? By chewing through the mesh basket on my jogging stroller. BASTARDS!

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