Dearest darlingest Matthew,
This morning you woke up when my alarm went off, and immediately freaked out because YOUR alarm had not gone off. You reached over for your phone (which, by the way, is a complete piece of crap but you keep using it because you are simply too lazy to get a new one from Verizon, who will give you a new one FOR FREE) and apparently something was wrong with it because after several attempts at removing the battery and putting it back in, you threw it against the wall.
I do not think that this is appropriate behavior. I do not think it is appropriate behavior AT ALL.
But do you know what I think is even LESS APPROPRIATE? The fact that after you left for work and after I got out of the shower, I discovered the reason for the broken phone. Yes, I figured out that you had spilled a cup of water on your night stand. A night stand that was VERY EXPENSIVE, and that is one of the few pieces of furniture in our house that is not 1) a hand me down from some relative, 2) a Craig’s List find, or 3) from Target. Do you perhaps understand now why I repeatedly ask you not to leave cups of water so close to the edge of your nightstand, where an errant limb or pillow could easily knock it over? This was a long time coming, buster, since you have the sleeping habits of an untamed rhesus monkey on speed.
So, fine, anyway, spills happen, and I’ve spilled things before, and that’s not to mention how many dishes I’ve broken in the last week alone (count: 4) so I can be a little bit understanding. But what I absolutely CANNOT UNDERSTAND is why you thought it was acceptable to leave for work without cleaning up the spill. DId you think that it would be great for our VERY EXPENSIVE NON HAND-ME-DOWN/CRAIG’S LIST/TARGET nightstand to get warped and damaged? Did you think that the cleaning fairies would clean up after you?
I have news for you, buddy. This is NOT. OK. AT. ALL. So, clean up after yourself, go to the Verizon store after work and get a new (FREE) phone, and perhaps consider apologizing to a certain someone. Flowers would work nicely.