On Saturday afternoon, I was moving some laundry from the washer to the dryer when I noticed that several items in the washer, including my Very Favorite Sweater, had large yellow spots on them. I immediately burst from the laundry room to interrogate Matt about WHAT, EXACTLY, WAS IN YOUR POCKETS, AND HOW COULD YOU DO THAT MY SWEATER IS RUINED AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND NO I WILL NOT LOWER MY VOICE AND YES IT REALLY IS WORTH GETTING THIS UPSET ABOUT.
I may have been a little bit worked up about the sweater. However, my accusation was not without merit, since in the time we have lived together I have found the following items in either the washing machine or the dryer:
Golf pencils, about 20 of them (note that these actually broke the dryer and I had to pay a repairman to come remove them from the innards of that stupid machine).
Crayons from Friendly’s (WHY? Why, I ask.)
An entire bag of Hall’s Cherry Throat Lozenges
A package of crackers with peanut butter
His cell phone (found before it was submerged in water, luckily)
One of those cheap corkscrews that are like a buck at the liquor store
A corkscrew AND pocketknife in one (Bonus! Also, I did not find that one until it was going round and round in the dryer and making the MOST HORRENDOUS clunking noise I have ever heard.)
Assorted papers, business cards, pay stubs, credit cards, etc.
And that’s just what I can remember off the top of my head. Needless to say, I am usually very careful about checking pockets before starting the laundry. However, in this case I was convinced that I had missed something that something from his pants pockets would be the culprit.
So, I treated the yellow spots with stain remover and began a thorough search of the wet pile of laundry for the Yellow Spot Creator. And… nothing. I was almost ready to toss a yellow highlighter in there just so that I would have an excuse for my tirade.
It was a mystery! One that I hoped to solve before running the machine again and adding to the Yellow Spots of Rage. The only thing that the spots seemed to resemble in color was mustard. And therein lies the dilemma:
Matt does not eat mustard. (I KNOW – its an issue for another day.) I tried to remember the last time that I had, and I realized that it was actually on the day that I had worn the Very Favorite Sweater. Which leaves me with two options:
Option 1: The spots are a mystery. A mystery with no discernible cause, but luckily one that seems to be slowing going away with a liberal application of stain remover and several runs through the laundry.
Option 2: The spots came from a very very LARGE amount of mustard. That I spilled on my sweater. That I then walked around with all day and that was visible, front and center, as I presented to four separate groups of people in an all day meeting that I attended that day.
Which is worse? You decide.
Luckily, a co-worker assures me that she would have noticed, and that she would not have let me walk around all day like that. And based on the way the spots appeared, I tend to believe that it is not actually mustard. BUT – this is going to be one of those things that bothers me for a very long time. Yellow spots do not just appear, people. And no, I will not apologize to Matt until he is proved innocent. It’s guilty until proved innocent in my house, dammit.
Annnd, to totally change the subject, what do you think of this dress? I really like it, but current budgets being what they are, it would mean using up the last of my precious (so precious!) ATL gift cards that I received for Christmas/my birthday. So the good news that I wouldn’t be spending any of my precious (so precious!) cash, but the bad news is that any future purchases would need to be made with that precious (and limited!) cash supply.
I’m thinking that this dress would be versatile enough to wear to a few upcoming functions (bridal showers, weddings, a fancy dinner) which is what gives it such appeal. It’s definitely my style, and since literally every ‘nice occasion’ dress that I own is now about 3 sizes too big, I’m thinking that an investment wouldn’t be a bad move.
Or am I just trying to talk myself into thinking that I NEED it? Am the Queen of Justification.
What say you? Do you like the dress? Does it help if I told you that I already have shoes that will go with it? What if I told you that that has NEVER stopped me from buying shoes before??