Smorgasbord

Huh. Who knew that was even a real word? I thought I’d just type in some lame ass attempt at the spelling and you’d guess what I meant, but it turns out there’s a real live spelling. I’m really classin’ this place up, what with the big words and the spelling them correctly.

***

Do you like pumpkin food items? By this I mean, do you have to resist the urge to cram your mouth/stomach/jiggly thighs with pumpkin muffins/pies/cakes/etc this time of year? Because I do. I love it all. Surprisingly, pumpkin pie is probably my least favorite of all the pumpkin offerings, but I start salivating at the mere thought of pumpkin muffins, donuts, and lattes. YUM.

If you are anything like me when it comes to the pumpkin-love, you should make this recipe. I found it via Lawyerish, and when she described scraping some pumpkin loaf remnants off of her oven racks to eat them, I knew this was a recipe for me.

A word of caution: if you are going to make this pumpkin loaf, make sure you have to leave the house to attend a party approximately ten minutes after said loaf is removed from the oven. Also be sure to bring the loaf with you to the party; even though you will find yourself drooling over the smell of the loaf coming from the back seat, this is a far better alternative to stuffing the entire delicious, pumpkiny thing into your gaping maw.

***

Speaking of parties, we went to the annual Halloween bash thrown by Matt’s family on Saturday night. As usual, it was awesome, and made more awesome by the fact that we won top prize in the costume contest. Usually the prizes are somewhat lacking, but this year we were the recipients of a cold hard cash prize. Sweet.

We boogied the night away and sweat our asses off (seriously, polyester has got some major insulating powers, what were those 70’s era people thinking??) and had a damn good time.

***

Answer me this:

Why do women think that the very essence of Halloween is to dress up in the sluttiest outfit they can find? If it’s really that necessary for you to embrace your inner hooker, I know a street corner that you can stand on. But I think even a real hooker would leave more to the imagination.

And while we’re at it, why do the companies that make costumes have such a difficult time with boundaries on these slutty costumes? Now it’s not enough to be a witch, you have to be a sexy witch. Or a naughty nurse. Or a sultry vampire. I guess this would be fine if they hadn’t taken to bastardizing every other genre out there. I’m pretty sure that Little Red Riding Hood didn’t wear thigh highs and a garter belt. I’m also fairly certain that Gretel never went out with her ass crack showing.

Also, if we’re assuming that based on their Halloween attire, all women want to be hookers, then apparently all men want to cross dress. Because men seem to think that they should all dress as women for Halloween. As if you wearing boobs is going to get you any closer to mine. Um, no.

***

This nearly made me pee my pants this morning. I think that H’s sense of humor is very similar to Matt’s, which is probably why I find this to be so darn funny. And of course, I love me some -R-, too.

***

Is it wrong that after the Red Sox won the World Series last night, I was less excited about the win than about the fact that I can finally start going to bed at a reasonable hour? There are many things that I do not understand in the world, not the least of which is WHY AN 8PM START, FOX? WHY? You suck. Do you need more time to stick Jeanne Zelasko’s finger in a socket? Is that what it is? Seriously, what are you doing to that poor woman’s head?

***

…Aaaand, that’s all I’ve got.

Happy Monday! May the week pass swiftly!

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5 Comments

Filed under Dance Fever, Holidays, Life in New England, My Sweet Babboo, Uncategorized

5 responses to “Smorgasbord

  1. They were talking about this on the radio this morning–how Halloween has somehow morphed from scary to skanky. And how creativity is no longer prized over the amount of skin your costume shows. It’s sad, and the REALLY sad part is that they’re starting in on “sexy” costumes for kids!

  2. Liz

    Matt and I were just talking about the slutty Halloween costumes! We still live on a college campus which means we have to suffer through an insane number of undergrads dressed as sluts. Apparently you don’t even need a costume idea anymore.

    And pumpkin bread is also my favorite pumpkin baked good. I may be be baking tonight.

  3. Hello, best post ever. I don’t know why it was so awesome to me, but I just LOVED it. Especially that “having boobs will not get you closer to mine” bit. Hilarious!

  4. -R-

    Congrats on winning the costume contest!

    I’m glad you liked H’s post. I was worried people might take it seriously.

  5. A friend of mine sent me a PostSecret entry based on that same slutty Halloween costume complaint. I saw some pretty alarming outfits on Saturday night. I think it’s getting worse and worse.

    As for pumpkin stuff, yes! Pumpkin lattes, pumpkin frappuccinos, pumpkin frozen custard (yum)… Someone posted a recipe for pumpkin chocolate chip muffins recently, and I think I need to make them soon.

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