Revenge is a dish best served…

… by my kitchen, apparently.

I guess it didn’t like my grumblings about its lack of decent cabinet space and whatnot, because last night when I walked in the door from work, I was hit with the most disgusting, funkified odor I have ever had the extreme displeasure to sniff. And it was coming from the kitchen.

How, you say, is that possible? When you lovingly scrubbed every surface, removed even the slightest offense from the refrigerator, and took out every spec of trash?


And yet the odor persists. And now I swear I can smell it in every room of the house. (Matt says he can’t smell it anywhere but the kitchen, but I say IT’S FOLLOWING ME.)

We’ve looked everywhere we can think of for the source of the odor, including behind the stove where we previously found a, ahem, little present. (In the form of a dead little carcass, and by we I so totally mean Matt and not me at all. And the funny thing is that that time? I did not smell anything at all and Matt thought I was crazy. But now even thinking about it is giving me the creeps because oh god dead things in my house, possibly more than once.)

So the source refuses to be found, which leads me to two possible conclusions:

  1. It’s in the wall, which is too horrible to even consider, and I’m hoping not likely since we have only ever had (well ever caught) 3 mice and that is including the stove-mouse so it seems unlikely that the 4th mouse would choose to die in the damn wall, right? Also, there was no evidence of mousies anywhere in our kitchen.  (And by evidence I mean little tiny poo.) Please tell me that this isn’t likely because I don’t care what you say, that this is New England and we live near the woods and we are bound to have a few mice, I don’t care I don’t want mice anywhere near my living quarters, especially not dead and unreachable through the wall. Ack.
  2. It’s actually not something funkified in our house, it’s something funkified in our neighbor’s house. This is bad because it means that the smell is unreachable to get rid of until they do something about it, but I guess it also means that it is not our fault and that this isn’t some kind of strange rodent uprising. If you’d smelled some of the things they’ve cooked, you might think this one highly likely, too.

Whatever the source, I really hope it goes away very very soon. My counter measures (lighting every scented candle I can find, a liberal spraying of febreeze, and ever-so-attractively mouth-breathing whenever I am in the kitchen) can only take me so far.



Filed under Home Sweet Home

2 responses to “Revenge is a dish best served…

  1. That is highly unfortunate. I’m hoping it’s your neighbour’s cooking and it goes out in the trash ASAP. Assuming trash collection day is like, today. Otherwise, if trash day is several days away, I hope it disappears into their tummies, never to be smelled again by your delicate nose.

  2. oh, YUCK! That’s just really horrible. I loathe the mystery smells. I came home from a meeting last week and the whole house just reeked. I made Bart get out of bed and take out the garbage. And then I was ashamed for being the kind of people who let their garbage get smelly.

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