No whammy!

I’ve figured out the answer to all of my problems. I will go on a game show.*

OK, so maybe it wouldn’t solve all of my problems. BUT it would solve the ones that involve money, IF I can get myself on a game show that will give me a solid chance of winning.

I’m not greedy. Clearly, winning 10 million dollars is not either likely or reasonable (although it would certainly be welcome!) but even, say, 50 thousand would be seriously life changing for me at this point.**

So. Which is the best game show for me? I present you with my list of options:

Wheel of Fortune

J I can usually guess the puzzles before anyone else when I watch on TV

L Usually the ‘big winner’ walks away with like 15K

J Lots of shows means lots of contestants means better shot of me getting on the show 


L Cannot rely on all categories being “words that end with B” (I totally whup at those kinds of questions, but not so much at “18th century artists”)

L Can never remember to answer in the form of a question

J Less chance on embarrassing myself because no one I know would watch it 

Survivor (not really a game show but still potential for winning $)

J One million dollars

L Bugs

L No showers

L No food (unless, bugs)

L Evil backstabbing co-contestants

J Jeff Probst 

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

J I do! I do!

L Is that show even on any more? 

1 vs. 100

L Bob Saget and his corny jokes

J Questions a monkey could answer

L Bob Saget and his corny jokes 

Deal or No Deal

J No skill involved

L Depressing hot models will make you feel bad about yourself. Who has legs that long? And those canNOT be real! 

The Price is Right

L Rumors of Rosie O’Donnel as host

L Have no idea what that stuff costs 

Family Feud

J I am totally awesome at the end part with the 5 questions and the timer. I almost always can guess the number one answer.

L FAMILY Feud. Oh god, the horror.

What say you? What game show would you be awesome at?

*I am not ACTUALLY planning on going on a game show. It is, however, something that I talk about all the time and it might happen someday. I’d like to be prepared just in case I ever decide to do it.

**Am I the only one who constantly calculates how much money it would take for me to be comfortable? I’m not talking comfortable in the sense of personal chauffeurs and chefs and mansions… I’m talking debt paid off, maybe a nice vacation, and a few pairs of Manolos. It started in college where I would buy dollar lottery tickets at the 7-11 near my apartment and pray for the $5,000 I needed for books and rent. Of course now the number is signifcantly higher (damn real estate) but I still find myself contantly adding it up. Really? I’m the only freak who does that? How depressing.



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4 responses to “No whammy!

  1. Liz

    You should go on the wheel. Just practice yelling “Big Money!” I think that one is a pretty good bet for you considering your skills. I could actually see you winning some real money.

    As for Deal or No Deal, the no skill required works both ways. You could end up being really unlucky and not win anything. Plus, I wouldn’t be able to take the risks. As soon as the banker offered me 20 thousand, I’d be like I’ll take it, even if I had only opened the first set of cases. 20 thousand is just so much money!

  2. My dream is to go on Wheel and make it to the bonus round. Then, I want to be able to guess the puzzle before I have to tell them my letter so that I can tell them my letters are X, Q, and Z. That would be awesome.

    I agree with you on the Deal thing. I would be so freaked out that I would end up with a really crappy deal because I can’t take risks!

  3. Are you tall though? Because I read somewhere (I hope it was not here – wouldn’t it be embarrassing to be telling you something that you yourself told me?) that Pat Sajak won’t let women taller than 5’8 or something be on the show because he’s so short and self-conscious. This seriously pissed off my former roommate who is 6’2. We were planning to make our fortune by appearing on Best Friends Week.

  4. Nope! Am short!

    I didn’t know that Pat Sajak was short though. I guess that must mean that Vanna is pretty short too, since I don’t think she’s taller than he is.

    Speaking of hosts’ neuroces – my only reason for kind of wanting to go on Deal or No Deal is so that I can totally freak out Howie Mandel. (I’m assuming you’ve heard about his OCD and problems with shaking hands, etc.) That’s kind of mean but the thought amuses me.

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