Trendsetter

In the past week, I have received no less than 3 e-mails (Banana Republic, Gap, and Ann Taylor) telling me that wide leg pants are going to be in for Fall.

Nooooooooo!!!

It started with the ballet flat trend. Then the skinny jeans. And now wide leg pants?

People: how about a trend I can actually WEAR??? How about something that doesn’t make me look like a stump. Or a total fat ass. Shockingly, I am not a fan of cankles OR tree trunk thighs.

Now, the wedge heel – that has been a good trend. Applause for a shoe that adds some height and lengthens the leg while being simultaneously easy to walk in. Same for the summer dress – providing it does not require ironing, of course.

I have this distinct memory of being in high school when those stretchy black pants from Express were really in style. I think that Liz and I used to call them black ass pants. Or maybe we called them stretchy ass pants? I know it had something to do with the way they clung to the ass in an oh so unflattering way. Anyway, I know that we both succumbed to the trend at some point (although I also definitely remember that we wore some extra flattering baggy sweaters that covered our asses with these pants), but this time. This time I just cannot do it. I cannot deliberately wear something that makes me look like I walked under the ugly tree on the way out of the house.

Guess I’ll have to give up on being trendy for a while – because we all know that was such an issue for me anyway.

***

P.S. Where did all you people COME from today? If all takes are stories of the recent ways that I’ve managed to embarrass myself for me to get more readers, well there’s plenty more where that came from. At some point I may have to change the name of this blog to One Klutzy Cookie, or perhaps One Socially Inept Cookie, or maybe even One Cookie Who Shouldn’t Be Allowed Out In Public. But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

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2 Comments

Filed under Kwit yer bitchun, Uncategorized

2 responses to “Trendsetter

  1. Liz

    Love the ballet flat and love the wide leg pants shortie. I do.

  2. -R-

    I don’t mind the wide leg pants as long as the width is within reason. I tried on a pair a few weeks ago that made me feel like I had circus tents around my ankles.

    I also think ballet flats are super cute, but really, they are not so helpful to my pudgy legs. So I don’t have any, but I really really really want to get some.

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