Monthly Archives: March 2007

Waiting for a head transplant

I know I’ve written about this quite a bit, and you’re probably all sick of it… but I also figure that since I gladly read when you all write about your colds, stomach bugs, and hemorrhoids, maybe you won’t mind listening to me say it one more time:

MIGRAINES SUCK.

I’m so frustrated. So sick of being sick. Annoyed and wondering if everyone else thinks I’m just being a baby. I just want to feel good. I’m tired of these stupid goddamn headaches ruling my life.

If that sounds melodramatic, then maybe it is. When I feel fine, even I think to myself: really, how bad can it be? But then I get one and I feel like life stops.

And I’m just so damn sick of it.

I’m working from home today in an effort to be slightly more comfortable and hopefully feel better. And not throw up on my co-workers. I don’t think they would appreciate that.

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Big Brother is Watching

Dun dun dun…

You may wonder where I’ve been the last few days. I have been here, dear Internet. But I was momentarily scared away from blogging when I went to log in to my site a few days ago and got the ever frightening message of “Attention. The web page you are viewing may not be conducive to business purposes.” Yikes. But also, damn the man. They already took Leah away from me with site-blocking power. (Oh, the hurt. It burns.) I won’t let them take away my blogging ability too!

So yes, I blog at work sometimes (most of the time). But in fairness to me, I also spend an average of 10.5 hours per day here. And I get paid for 8. Yeah. I am not feeling a terrible amount of regret for the short time that spend doing whatever the hell I want.

Today I decided to try logging in again, and lo, it worked. Let’s hope that the incident the other day was just a fluke because I really don’t want to give up this blogging thing. However, I know it’s not really reasonable to expect myself to continue if I have to do it all from home. The last thing on my mind when I get home from many hours of computerness is sitting down in front of my lovely Mac at home.

That’s all for now… I’ll be back later to tell you how you can now call me Betty Crocker since I actually cooked real food the other day (Mac and Cheese, but still! Not from a box! Yet still edible!) and how I accidentally hit Matt rather hard in the face during dance class. Or maybe not, since I just told you those things, albeit in a somewhat less wordy fashion than you are accustomed. Instead, I’ll leave you with a shout-out (Did she just say shout-out? Yes, yes I did) to -R-, who was kind enough to mention me on her site. Which is cool because she is an InternetRockstar. With AWESOME prom pictures.

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Weekend Recap (Plus, a bonus rant!)

This weekend was the perfect mix of doing fun stuff, laying around doing nothing, and doing productive things. On Saturday, Matt and I went to the Bruins game. I got him the tickets for Valentine’s day and we’ve been looking forward to the game for a while. The beer was flowing nicely, as was the cheese on my fries, and so a good time was had by all despite the fact that the Bruins lost in a shoot-out. (I realize that this may not bode well for my weight loss goals. But sporting events were MADE for glorious calorie consumption. Cut me a break.)

While my sports-fan boyfriend may disagree, I thought that the most interesting (and also most annoying) part of the game was listening to the guys behind us. Keep in mind that this was a 1:00 game, but these guys had clearly had no limits for the start of alcohol binging. They were hammered.

When we were climbing the steps to our seats, I had asked Matt to carry my drink because I was nervous about falling and wanted a free hand to grab onto the railing. He laughed at me and told me that no one ever fell. What, did I think people just fell onto the row of seats in front of them? How would that happen?

Let’s just say that Really Drunk Asian Man proved him wrong. Turns out, people DO fall onto the row of seats in front of them. They even fall on those seats while people are sitting in them. They even fall hard enough to break the seat!

***

Yesterday, I finished and submitted our taxes. Yay for getting lots of money back! Boo for having already planned where every nickel of that money is going. (I’ll give you a hint – goodbye to some of our debt. Also goodbye to all that lovely lovely money. I’ll think fondly of all the shoes you could have purchased for me.)

I also finished reading this book – this is the second in the series and this one is definitely better than the first. Then I read most of this book, which I read a long time ago – but Matt got it for me as part of my box-of-books for Christmas so I decided to read it again. Not fine literature by any means, but an enjoyable way to spend a Sunday afternoon, especially while a certain SOMEONE is watching ENDLESS HOURS of March Madness.

***

Oh, you’re wondering about the extra special bonus rant? Well… remember my neighbors? Remember how they don’t know how to park? Remember how I left a note gently reminding them that most people don’t find it to be acceptable to park on the front lawn?

Guess where their friends parked yesterday afternoon. Go on, guess.

Also, guess who now has two GIANT tire track ruts in their front lawn.

Now, guess who is so freakin’ pissed that steam is going to come out of her ears and her head is going to turn around 360 degrees, exorcist-style.

Please tell me – how do I deal with this? I’ve tried to be nice to them. I thought that the note was a nice way to go, because it was non-confrontational and if anything, the damn thing was saccarrine sweet. But apparently that is not working with these people. What’s the next step, without getting all batshit crazy, to dealing with this? TELL ME THE WAY,  INTERNET PEOPLE. I will follow your guidance.

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“Project Old Pants” Update

Yikes. It’s hard getting the hang of this weight loss thing. But cute summer clothes beckon and I WILL fit into my old pants one of these days.

This week I tried to make minor changes in my diet. Mainly, I tried to think BEFORE I ate. Sounds simple, right? But I have this tendency to scarf down the french fries and THEN think about how bad they were for me. This week I thought about every single thing that went into my mouth (with 2 guilty exceptions – one being a cupcake that my boss brought me, and the other being a bag of chips that I probably did not need to add to my already large lunch).

This is not to say that everything I ate this week was healthy – just that I thought about things and made conscious decisions about what I was eating. I wasn’t as good about tracking my food intake as I would like to be, but I am trying to be fair to myself here… I typically track food while at work, because I am in front of a computer here and it just makes things easier. However, this week has been so crazily busy that I decided to forgo the tracking. I’ll start this up next week.

On the exercise front, things have been looking… dismal. I’m really struggling with this. When I’m at work during the day, exercise sounds GREAT. The thought of fresh air and a walk is invigorating and totally sounds like something I could do. But then I get out of work and the couch sounds like the best thing in the world. I was really ambitious about getting up early to work out in the mornings, but so far that hasn’t happened either. Depressing.

So, for this week I think I’d give myself about a C. Not great, but also an improvement from the F- that I deserved in the last few weeks.

Next week’s goals are to bring lunch from home (healthier AND cheaper – bonus!) and to find a damn way to exercise at least 2 days. Wish me luck!

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Kaboom!

Last night I arrived home to find that my very romantical boyfriend was making me a nice candlelit dinner. (Awww… also, Yum! Also, Wine!!) I love candles as much as I love Febreeze, which is to say that there are quite a few candles in our house and they are all lovely and yummy smelling.

Most of the candles are in the living room, which is also my ‘library’. I have pillar candles on top of the bookcases, kind of like these.

So, I’ve set the scene, right? Very nice, as Borat would say.

UNTIL ONE OF THE CANDLES EXPLODED.

We’re not entirely sure what happened, and it’s not like there was a Kaboom or anything like the title of this post indicates – that’s just me being overly dramatic. But when we went to blow out the candles we were surprised to see wax dripping down the front of a bookcase… and all over the floor in little droplets that kind of feel like sand. The candle in question is now the size of a quarter.

We are mystified because it wasn’t too close to the edge, so it didn’t just fall. I’ve only lit these candles once before so it wasn’t burned too far down. If it just melted itself into a puddle I could understand – but there is wax on the floor a good 2 feet away. Matt proclaimed that it was clearly “high velocity spatter”, which says a lot about how many episodes of CSI we’ve seen.

This leaves me with two questions.

What the hell happened? And…

Does anyone know how to safely remove hardened candle wax from a hardwood floor without also removing the finish?

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My Funny Valentine

[The following is the text of an e-mail that I just received from Matt. From this e-mail, you should be able to tell two things: 1) He is hilarious, and if you don’t think so then you suck, and 2) Clearly not much is happening at his place of work today. Names and addresses have been changed to protect the innocent those who do not wish to be stalked.]

Subject: Easter

We make for celebrations of the Easter to be GREAT SUCCESS!!  VERY NICE.

And if you haven’t seen Borat… here are the Easter plans

I.  Where is Easter 07?

We determined that [our address] would be the best place for Easter this year.  Why?  There are so many reasons, but here are a few:

1.  Convenient location for [name of our town] residents (28% of the Easter guests are [name of our town] residents)

2.  Twice the amount of fireplaces as [his parent’s address]

3.  Target furniture that is “to die for.”

4.  Scented candles, need I say more?

5.  Video games – more systems and more games

6.  A fully stocked bar

7.  Two heating zones (that’s right, TWO)

8.  Central air, in case the fires get too hot (see #2)

9.  A fully stocked bar

10.  Dungeon room in the basement

As you can see, clearly [our address] is the ideal Easter location.  However there have been some questions posed.  As such, I have put together an FAQ section (FAQ is Frequently Asked Questions):

II.  Frequently Asked Questions

1.  Why is Easter 07 at [our address]? 

     See Section I – “Where is Easter 07?”

2.  Where do I go if I have a question about Easter 07?

     See Section II – “Frequently Asked Questions”

3.  What about the swap?

     The swap is still on.  We are on ‘K’

[Explanation: At each holiday, Matt’s family has a Yankee Swap. The items swapped must begin with a certain letter – they work their way through the alphabet. $10 limit. The items range from useful to annoying to hilarious. Case in point: Thanksgiving’s letter was I. Matt gave an Illuminated Cow from Walmart. At Christmas, Matt’s uncle was proudly displaying the cow (complete with illumination) on his front lawn. I couldn’t make this shit up.]

4.  If I bring KKK memorabilia to the swap, does it count as a triple K gift?

     Great question.  Yes, and if it is a KKK kayak, it would be a quadruple.

[OK – we IN NO WAY support the KKK. It’s just that there are bonus points for double letters. PLEASE NO MAKING THE HATE MAIL.]

5.  Can I bring my fiancé?

     Yes.

6.  Can we expect the menu to include things other than pizza and pasta with butter?

     Yes, see Section III – “The Menu” for more information

7.  What would be an appropriate Easter gift for the host?

     Great question, a dog.

8.  I understand your birthday is coming up, what do you want?

    See #7

9.  What is the beer/wine/liquor situation?

     See Section I.  “Where is Easter 07?” #6 and #9

10. Is there going to be an egg hunt?

      Bring your X-ray glasses.

11.  Where can I go for more information?

      Visit http://www.easter07isat[ouraddress]thisisnotarealwebsite.com

12.  That link does not work.

      That’s not a question and I can’t believe you actually thought I would create a website for this.

13.  What about desert?

      See Section IV. “Ert”

14.  When is Easter?

      Sunday, April 8th

15.  Why is Easter on a Sunday?

       I don’t know.  You’d have to ask Jesus.  He’s the one who rose from the dead on a Sunday.

III.  The Menu

Traditionally, ham is eaten at Easter, but I wouldn’t really know because I don’t eat that.  With the amount of people that do not eat ham, some questions have been raised as to what we should have for Easter dinner.  Some of the following suggestions have been made:

-Ham

-Lasagna

-Salad

-Traditional [Matt’s last name] Chinese food

This one is pretty much open.  We determined earlier, we would do a “pot luck” dinner, where everyone brings something.  I think we should just see what everyone wants and then determine what everyone should bring.  So, if everyone could respond to this e-mail and just let me know if you want one of the above choices or anything else and we can update this section.

IV.  Ert

Traditionally, broken glass pie is served as Easter ert.  However, this one is pretty much open.  Just like with the menu, if want to bring something, just let me know so I can add it to this e-mail so that no one brings the same thing.  And yes, the bunny cake will likely be returning.

[Bunny Cake is a tradition from my family. You make two round cakes. One stays round. On the other one, you kind of cut off the sides to make bunny ears. The middle part becomes either a bow tie for a boy bunny or a hair bow for a girl bunny. Decorate with ridiculous amounts of candy. Tip: add a few drops of red food coloring to coconut to make fuzzy pink ears. We made bunny cake for Easter last year and let’s just say that Matt’s looked… umm… interesting.]

V.  Concluding Remarks

If any one has any questions/comments/suggestions, let me know either by responding to this e-mail, giving me a call or filling out a feedback form on the official website of Easter 07: http://www.easter07is[ouraddress]thisisnotarealwebsite.com

Please also review sections III and IV and let me know your dinner and ert suggestions.  Also check Section II and see if you have any questions to add to the FAQ.

Matt

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Snowing!

It’s snowing like a motherfucker outside. Am leaving early. Yessssss. Am leaving early to go home and have a BIG DRINK.

Maybe I will force Matt into making a fire, too. This could be problematic, as we have a lot of junk mail kindling but not so much actual wood.

(What? You don’t burn your junk mail? Totally better than shredding, I swear. Let them Identity Theft fuckers try to piece those ashes together. Also – no envelope opening required. Bonus.)

God. I really need that drink. Screw you, work week!

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