I keep getting forwarded links to blogs at work. The reason for this is that these blogs have posts either about something my company is doing or something one of our competitors is doing. I find these posts to be really funny because they give a new perspective so things that I spend many many hours and days and weeks working on. (Luckily, the commercial for the project I spent so much time working on got Matt’s approval as being ‘pretty funny’ or else I would have NEVER HEARD THE END OF IT.)
So, I thought that since I enjoy hearing what people write about the company that
sucks out my soul provides my paycheck, maybe I should give my opinion on some other companies out there. I am, after all, nothing if not a giver. Of my opinion, that is.
Target:I love you and want to have your babies. Your commercials are entertaining and your product assortment is nothing if not amazing. Your Target brand Dayquil made me vomit uncontrollably the one time I took it, but since many medicines do that I suppose I won’t let it diminish my love for you.
Barnes & Noble:I’m torn here. I love the selection, but the layout is very challenging. It’s fine if I know what I’m looking for, but if I’m going to browse or look for a good new read I find it to be very challenging. I am a fan of the Starbucks proximity, but not of the obnoxious chair-hoggers. There should be a time limit, dammit. Or more chairs. I’m also torn on the Rewards program. I know I’m saving money, because I spend so damn much there that the savings is more than the cost of the card, but I don’t like to pay for Rewards programs. I feel a little less appreciated as a valued customer when I paid to be one.
Borders/Waldenbooks:Did you know they were one and the same? I did not, until the Waldenbooks that I used to go to asked me to sign up for a Border’s card. I was a hugely loyal fan of my local Waldenbooks because it was very close to our old apartment. I spentso much time/money there that the employees knew me and would set aside books so that they could recommend them the next time I came in. I also saved a lot of money with their Rewards program (which they didn’t make me pay for, thankyouverymuchBarnes&Noble). Unfortunately, the only one close-by now is in a huge mall with crazy parking. Not so much conducive to frequent visits.
Stop & Shop: You, um, kind of suck. But you work for my purposes and I am MUCH too lazy to drive a whole extra 2 miles away to go somewhere else, so I guess you will keep getting my business. But really? If I buy raspberries on Sunday, am I supposed to EXPECT that they will be MOLDY and GROSS by Tuesday? I do not think so. Also, I know that this is not necessarily your fault (although I do intend to blame you) but I wish the assholes that shop at your store would not park in the fire lane, thereby causing me to get almost hit by other cars who cannot see me as I try to steer my cart past the illegally parked cars who are blocking the view of the non-illegal moving cars.
[Random side note: The Stop and Shop that we used to go to before we moved had a police officer stationed inside. (In case of theft, I guess? We were not really in the hood or anything, so I’m not entirely sure why it was necessary…) People used to park in the fire lane there, too, so every time we went there I would always go up to the officer and ask him to have them move or ticket them. It used to embarrass the HELL out of Matt, but more so the cop, who was (I swear I’m not lying) always reading a romance novel when I approached him.]
Bennigan’s: You suck ass. Seriously. What is wrong with you? How are you still in business? Oh wait, the one near us just closed down so maybe you’re going to HELL where you belong.
[Yes, we eat at chain restaurants. If you have a problem with that, you and your little foodie know-it-all “I’d rather DIE than eat at Friday’s” snob self can bite me.]
These are all the companies that I’m feeling strongly enough to write about today. What are your favorite/most hated companies?