Please stop distracting me with your tempting e-mail beeping and music playing and online reading. I have very important work to do. You see, it’s appraisal time at work and my self appraisal was due on Friday. Not this past Friday, but the one before. The 26th. Of January. That is in a different month than the one we are currently in. So, you see, I am late. Very late.
Now, this lateness probably has something to do with a little thing called procrastination. But I am instead choosing to blame it on you. You with your steady distractions and cries of neglect.
I need time to reflect on what good little employee I have been for the past year, so that I can list my accomplishments in grand fashion.
But don’t fret, computer! I still need your fine word processing power to complete this task. Your keys will not be neglected and your programs will not lie dormant. We need to work together. Because we are a team, you and I.
We may just need to disconnect you from the Internet for a while, that’s all. I know you think that the Internet is your lifeblood, but I promise that you CAN live without it, as your ancestors before you did. Just trust me, and we will complete our mission towards appraisal completion.
And don’t worry, you’ll be back to your precious internet connection before long.