Baby’s First Meme

So today the lovely Schnozz wrote about some advise that she would like to give herself. She encouraged others to participate, so here goes:

Advice that I would like to give myself on February 6, 2007:

1) Contrary to what you may believe, worrying about things does not prevent them from happening.

Self, unless you have some voodoo mind power that has not yet been discovered, you cannot control the fate of the world through your thoughts alone. Maybe you could try being more organized, and less obsessive. Remember when you didn’t worry? And everything turned out just fine? Try remembering that sometimes. Or, you know, all the time. Otherwise you may drive yourself and everyone around you completely batshit crazy.

2) Life is not a competition.

A little healthy competition may be a good thing sometimes. It may inspire you to achieve more or to do something different. But you? Take things to a whole new level.

The sad thing is that you are mostly in competition with no one but yourself. For example – you should go to grad school because you want to and are ready to go. Not because you think you should. I promise you that no one is sitting around thinking you are a failure because you don’t have an MBA yet. Except maybe you. And while it’s good to have goals, it’s also good to accept your limitations. For the record, the thought of going back to school right now makes you want to gag.

3) Life is also not a race.

Why are you always in such a rush to grow up? Is it really that great? Why don’t you enjoy being young? There will ALWAYS be someone smarter, and more accomplished than you. So give it a rest! Go party sometimes! Go enjoy life! Stop and smell the damn roses, is what I’m saying.

4) You will never be President.

Do you know why this is? It is not because you aren’t smart, or capable. It is because you can’t stand the thought of someone not liking you. And generally, what happens when you are President, is that a large portion of the population hates your stinking guts. Why does it bother you so much? You don’t like A LOT of people. Yet it would kill you to know that the same people who you vehemently hate might dislike you a slight bit. Have a little bit of self-confidence, ok?

5) Speaking of self-confidence…

Remember that gawky girl in middle school? The one with bad hair and nerdy clothes?

You aren’t her anymore. Your hair cut is cute and so are your shoes. So get over it. Everyone was gawky in middle school.

6) Say it with me: Exercise.

I know you hate it. I know you are not naturally athletic. But you know what you are? Destined for a heart attack.

And don’t give me that ‘no time’ excuse. You can’t give me that excuse until you have missed at least one episode of Gray’s Anatomy. I know that the TV is infinitely more fun than exercise, but, in the words of Nike, just do it.

7) Appreciate what you have in life.

You have a pretty good life. You’ve done a lot of great things, had some awesome experiences, and had a lot of fun. It’s ok to be sad sometimes, but don’t forget to think of the big picture. Because in that big picture, your life looks pretty damn rosy.

8) Change is good. Indecisiveness is bad.

So don’t be so afraid of it. Think of all the times you have experienced change and how wonderfully everything turned out. You’ll probably never be one of those people who jumps into everything head first, but you could at least not be so damn timid.

Also, make a damn decision already. It’s good that you weigh the pros and cons before making being decisions – but sometimes it’s good to just go with your gut.

9) Maybe you could, you know, learn to cook. Something. Anything. Please.

I know you don’t really eat anything exciting. And I know that Matt eats even less exciting things. But there must be something that you could cook. Frozen pizza and plain pasta don’t count. Besides, you don’t even make those things – Matt does. I think you made stuffed shells once, right? And it was good? And you had leftovers that you could bring to work and you didn’t pay $7 for a stupid sandwich? You know I’m right. Just buy a cookbook, ok?

10) Don’t get so sucked in by routine.

You love routine. I mean you LOOOOOOVE routine. (See: change is good, above.) But just because you did something once doesn’t mean that it has to become routine. You tend to get way too sucked in to doing things a certain way because THIS IS THE WAY THINGS ARE DONE. Even though you only did it once. See? Learn to adapt. You can do it. I promise.

That’s all for now. I think this is enough to work on, don’t you?

Also I think it could be worse. I mean, it’s not like “stop doing crack” is at the top of my list.


1 Comment

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One response to “Baby’s First Meme

  1. rayshell

    Good list!

    Yes…also good to remember..CRACK IS WACK! 🙂

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